








’ ~~ “f. = 
—— 


a ee 


abe GAP ee erp lee ew RAE: a eee 


— ae ae “Fy 





ven Hemaradliesata alee Ae akc acdien heden alte ities ae a 





















a aS 





My ape 





MORE PEERS id 


Boies ubve rr. Ist | eOC td 
Pictures” by ib TB. 





NEW YORK 


ALFRED A KNOPF. 
1924 


eo 


, ‘ 
Re 
* o _— na ‘se « - ARSE © 
< ‘ 
c ‘] ¥ 
* _ ‘a 
a i 
' 
’ 
* 
s - 
a 
é 
7 
« < 
“ 














3 
- ; : 
| 








Made and printed in Great Britainat 
The Mayflower Press, Plymouth. William Brendon & Se Led 


Dea: 


CONTENTS 


Edward, first Eart or ROEHAMPTON in the ae) of 
Surrey, deceased 


Archibald, fifteenth Baron Carvin of Peebles in North 
Britain 


Henry de la Tour Albert St. oe Chase, Se, 
known as Lorp Henry CuHasE ; 


Thomas, second Baron Herycate of Bayswater in the 
County of London 


Percy, first Eart or Epsom, in the County of Surrey 


Arthur Weekes, commonly known as Lorp FINcHLEY, 
Eldest Son and Heir of Charles, first Baron 
Hendon 


Ali-Baba, first (and last) Baron Aut-Bapa of Salonika 


George Punter, commonly known as Lorp Hippo, 
Eldest Son and Heir of Peter, sixth Earl of 
Potamus 


Baron UncLte Tom of Maarfontein in the Britains 
Over Seas 


William, eighth Eart Lucky, subsequent fifth Duke 
of Bradford ; 


Christopher, sixth Baron CANTON 


Alcibiades, third Baron Axsotr of Prakley in South- 
amptonshire ; : 
3 


PAGE 








+ . 
en) Bs 
we - or > 
Per 4 s 
eS nad = 
2 ee, 
OS Sie 
= " ) 
a 
. 
- > a ~ 
: 
E ? 
. 
7 = a 
est 
oP ia I oe ha 
ae Be Pe 
et, ‘ 





MORE PEERS 


Lord Roehampton 





During a late election Lord 
Roehampton strained a vocal chord 
From shouting, very loud and high, 
To lots and lots of people why 
The Budget in his own opin- 

-Ion should not be allowed to win. 


MORE PEERS 





sought a Specialist, who said: 
“You have a swelling in the head: 
Your Larynx is a thought relaxed 
And you are greatly over-taxed.” 


MORE PEERS 


“Tam indeed! On every side!” 
The Earl (for such he was) replied 





Pe oarse excitement... ,¢°Oh! My Lord, 
You jeopardize your vocal chord!” 

Broke in the worthy Specialist. 

“Come! Here’s the treatment! I insist! 
To Bed! to Bed! And do not speak 

A single word till Wednesday week, 

When I will come and set you free 

(If you are cured) and take my fee.” 


Ps 


MORE PEERS 


On Wednesday week the Doctor hires 
A Brand-new Car with Brand-new Tyres 
And Brand-new Chauffeur all complete 
For visiting South Audley Street. 

But what is this? No Union Jack 
Floats on the Stables at the back! 

No offs escorting Ladies fair 
Perambulate the Gay Parterre. 

A 'Scutcheon hanging lozenge-wise 
And draped in crape appals his eyes 
Upon the mansion’s ample door, 

To which he wades through 


caer D 
8 E 
v 





{Fin a 
VERE 

S 5 ee" ar 
Sete fe 


heaps of Straw,” 
And which a Butler 


* This is the first and only time 
That I have used this sort of Rhyme, 


MORE PEERS 


F ha, SLE: 
fe a a, 





drowned in tears, 


On opening but confirms his fe 
One oirl——Prepare to’he 


ars: 
ar the worst! . 


Last night my kind old master burst. 


And what is more, I doubt if he 
Has left enough to pay your fee. 


The Budget——” 


IO 


MORE PEERS 


With a dreadful oath, 


The Specialist, 





denouncing both 
The Budget avd the House of Lords, 


Buzzed angrily Bayswaterwards. 


And ever since, as I am told, 
Gets it beforehand ; and in gold, 


MORE PEERS 11 


Lord Calvin 


Lord Calvin thought the Bishops should not sit 


As Peers of Parliament. 





| And areued it | 
In spite of which, for years, and years, and years, 
They went on sitting with their fellow-peers. 


MORE PEERS 


Lord Henry Chase 


What happened to Lord Henry Chase? 


He got into a 





~~ Eber 
Lhe Daily Fowl had said that he— 
But could not prove it perfectly 
To Judge or Jury’s satisfaction : 


His Lordship, therefore, 


MORE PEERS 





won the action. 


But, as the damages were small, 


14 MORE PEERS 


t) . 
Ata 010 





He gave them to a Hospital. 


MORE PEERS 


Lord Heygate 





Lorp Heyeate had a troubled face, 
His furniture was commonplace— 
The sort of Peer who well might pass 
For someone of the middle class. 

I do not think you want to hear 
About this unimportant Peer, 

So let us leave him to discourse 
About Lorp Epsom and his horse. 


MORE PEERS 


Lord Epsom 





A Horse, Lord Epsom did bestride 
With mastery and quiet pride. 
He dug his spurs into its hide. 


B 


MORE PEERS 17 


The Horse, 





discerning it was pricked, 


Incontinently 


MORE PEERS 





| bucked and kicked, 
A thing that no one could predict ! 


Lord Epsom clearly understood. 
The High-bred creature’s nervous mood, 


MORE PEERS 





As only such a horseman could, 


20 





MORE PEERS 


Dismounting, 








MORE PEERS 21 





he was heard to say 
That it was kinder to delay 
His pleasure to a future day 


He had the Hunter led away. 


B * 


eo MORE PEERS 


Lord Finchley 





Lord Finchley tried to mend the Electric Light — 
Himself. 


MORE PEERS 23 





It struck him dead: And serve him right! 
It is the business of the wealthy man 
To give employment to the artisan, 


MORE PEERS 


Lord Ali-Baba 


Lord Ali-Baba was a Turk 
Who hated every kind of work, 
And would repose for hours at ease 


With 





Houris seated on his knees. 


A happy Itfe !—Until, one day 


MORE PEERS 






MR ’ 
Ta MITTEE 
ery ty se 
$5 S ce 


rd 
Maen 
yf’ 
bopeaey 
OL food ts 
eo ISSO. 


bs res 7 
4 BSS N 
vsas, 





Mossoo Alphonse Effendi Bey 

(A Younger Turk: the very cream 
And essence of the New Regime) 
Dispelled this Oriental dream 

By granting him a place at Court, 


MORE PEERS 


High Coffee-grinder to the Porte, 
Unpaid = 


/ wis 
: ay: 
’ ths 
[ii Z s W %, 
Wil Bp 


aw & aul 





In which exalted Post 
His Lordship yielded up the ghost. 


MORE PEERS 27 


Lord Hippo 


Lord Hippo suffered fearful loss 





By putting money on a horse 

Which he believed, if it were pressed, 
Would run far faster than the rest : 
For | 


MORE PEERS 


someone who was in the know 





Had confidently told him so. 


MORE PEERS | 


But 





on the morning of the race 


29 


30 MORE PEERS 


It only took 






h yy 
A 
94 












the seventh place | 


MORE PEERS 





| 


re 


Picture the Viscount’s great surprise | 
He scarcely could believe his eyes ! 


31 


MORE PEERS 


He sought the Individual who 
Had laid him odds at 9 to 2, 
Suggesting as a useful tip 

That they should enter Partnership 
And put to joint account the debt 
Arising from his foolish bet. 





But when the Bookie—oh! my word, 

I only wish you could have heard 

The way he roared he did not think, 

And hoped that they might strike him pink! 
Lord Hippo simply turned and ran : 
From this infuriated man. 


MORE PEERS 33 


Despairing, maddened and distraught 
He utterly collapsed and sought 
His sire, 





the Earl of Potamus, 
And brokenly addressed him thus : 
“Dread Sire—to-day—at Ascot—I .. .” 
His genial parent made reply : 
Come! Come! Come! Come! Don’t look so glum! 
Trust your Papa and name the sum... . 


Cc 


34 MORE PEERS 
Wuat? 





aA 
.. . Lfteen hundred thousand ? . . 
However . . . stiffen up, you wreck ; 
Boys will be boys—so here’s the cheque !” 
Lord Hippo, feeling deéply—well, 
More grateful than he cared to tell— 
Punted the lot on Little Nell :— 
And got a telegram at dinner 


To say 


MORE PEERS 35 






— 





3. I 
Sy \ 


‘ 


that he had backed the Winner ! 


36 





MORE PEERS 


Lord Uncle Tom 


Lord Uncle ‘Tom was different -from 
What other nobles are. 


For they are yellow or pink, I think, 
But he was 3 black as tar. 









Uiass 


MORE PEERS | 37 


He had his Father's debonair 
And rather easy pride: 


But his complexion and his hair 





Were from the mother’s side. 


38 


MORE PEERS 


He often mingled in debate — 
And latterly displayed 





Experience of peculiar weight 
Upon the Cocoa-trade. 


But now He speaks no more. The Birt 
Which he could not abide, 
It preyed upon his mind until 


He sickened, paled, and died. 


MORK PEERS 


Lord Lucky 


Lord Lucky, by a curious fluke, 
Became a most important duke. 
From living in a vile Hotel 





\l 


PTH 





A long way east of Camberwell 


ris MORE PEERS 
He rose, in less than half an hour, 
To riches, dignity and power. 

It happened in the following way :— 
The Real Duke went out one day 
To shoot with several people, one 


Y 


> 


LLTII> 
SLIP 
LLL 


LZ) 
al 


Ms 


iY 


Wipf A, 


7 
— all, 


( 9 De 
Wi, 
Y 





et ° d t 
o> SiC se eee 


MORE PEERS At 


Of whom had never used a gun. 
This gentleman (a Mr. Meyer 


Of Rabley Abbey, Rutlandshire), 
As he was scrambling through the brake, 


me 
eA 
oe 


7 —o iit 
a } 
5 LEG Aj 


WT ¢. it 
6 NS etl 


A i CLES i 
IK a Ws h 1 


‘ 
I 
ag 
} 
it 
‘wa 
19 





‘Discharged his weapon by mistake, 
And plugged about an ounce of lead 
Piff-bang into his Grace's Head—— 
Who naturally fell down dead. 


MORE PEERS 


His heir, Lord Ugly, roared, ‘You Brute! 





Take that to teach you how to shoot !” 
Whereat he volleyed, left and right ; 

But being somewhat short of sight, 

His right-hand Barrel only got 

The second heir, Lord Poddleplot ; 

The while the left-hand charge (or choke) 
Accounted for another bloke, 
Who stood with an astounded air 
Bewildered by the whole affair 


—And was the third remaining heir. 


MORE PEERS 


After the 





Execution (which 
Is something rare among the Rich) 
Lord Lucky, while of course he needed 


43 


44 


MORE PEERS 


Some | 





help to prove their claim, 
succeeded. 
—But after his succession, though 
All this was over years ago, 
He only once indulged the whim 
Of asking Meyer to lunch with him. 


MORE PEERS 45 


Lord Canton 


The reason that 





the Present Lord Canton 
Succeeded lately to his Brother John 


Was that his Brother John, the elder son, 
Died rather suddenly at forty-one. 


46 MORE PEERS 


The insolence of an Italian guide 








Appears to be the reason that he died. 


MORE PEERS , 


Lord Abbott 


Lord Abbott's coronet was far too small, 

So small, that as he sauntered down White Hall 
Even the youthful Proletariat 

(Who probably mistook it for a Hat) 


Remarked on its exiguous extent. 


48 


MORE PEERS 





Here is a picture of the incident. 








TTY RESEARCH INSTITUT 


THU ti i 


3 3125 01760 1671 





